Hexacyclic xanthone natural products such as IB-00208 present a formidable challenge in organic synthesis. A new approach to polycyclic 1,4-dioxygenated xanthones from benzocyclobutenones has been developed and applied to the first total synthesis of the aglycone of IB-00208. The 22-step synthesis features an acetylide stitching process that joins an aryl aldehyde with an angularly fused benzocyclobutenone, which was prepared by a ring-closing metathesis reaction. The resulting acetylenic benzocyclobutenone diol underwent a Moore rearrangement to give an intermediate that was further elaborated to the aglycone of IB-00208 as a mixture of hydroquinone-quinone tautomers.